Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fuccerham


You have probably noticed that I purposely avoid writing the word f*$k on my blog. I will always self-censor with an asterisk or a pound sign or some other stupid funking shit(Oh for God's sake, see what I did there?) I mean what the fu*king hell is wrong with me, I mean for f*ck's sake.

Fu#k, fu=k, f@ck, f^ck, fu*k, F*UUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!?

However I have no problem linking to a site or placing an image or embedding a song that is rife with it!

See:

www.fuckthiswebsite.com


I mean I can curse like a motherfu%cker when I want to, so what the hell stops me from going the full monty on my blog! I wouldn't say I'm Tony Sopranno, but get me riled; Oh boy! It's like a midnight meat train to crazy town and I would be the craziest of all the f*ckstick's: think Christian Bale with tourettes mixed to the soundtrack of NWA!

Just feckin' crazy man!

Believe me, you just don't want to know...



So why is it that a red-blooded, ginger bearded, handsome, sexy, god-like Irish man from the toughest(and many would say the best) part of Ireland is such a f**king baby when it comes to writing the word F*$K on his blog!? Also add to the fact that I completely abhor any form of artistic censorship!

So just what the hell is my problem?



I guess we need to delve a little deeper into the psyche that is Lubbert Das:

My parents being rather prudish in nature were quite strict regarding the use 'foul language' in the house(well aren't most parents?) In fact I believe I only have heard my father use the word 'F*ck' once! Seriously! One time- that's it. My mother ....God, I don't think I have ever heard her swear. Maybe she did but I didn't quite catch it as her shoe was in my ear at the time! Who knows...

So yeah as a kid I didn't curse much.



Let's move on to possibly another piece of the puzzle!

My grandfather was a voracious reader and every time I would visit him he would have another book to pass off to me and as I got older the books got slightly more interesting. I remember he gave me 'Jaws' and then sometime later 'The Exorcist' I was overjoyed, this was adult reading material. OK, 2000AD and Savage Sword of Conan were pretty damn good but these books had bad language and possibly even sexual content!!!!! However on closer inspection I noticed that he had taken the time to scribble out(quite neatly) every single curse word in all the books! So When Regan is saying '---- me!, ----me! Your mother ---- ----- in hell!' I have to say it kinda lessened the impact. His mother was what? Having pizza? Meeting Hitler? Smoking fags? Spiting cooks!? Licking Hamsters? I mean WTF!!



That above paragraph is rather telling isn't it!? Let's continue, still with me?

I remember an experience I had when I was eleven with an older girl of about thirteen or thereabouts. I was being held down and straddled in a field (hello!!)She was a bit of a bully and as I was a skinny weak asthmatic pacifist I couldn't do much about it! So I struggled and squirmed (it wasn't that bad really) until I finally said in the most assertive tone of voice that I could muster "Would you get the F*UK off me!" That was the first time I recall using the F word!


"O Lord," swears Molly, "I wanted to shout all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything at all"


Repressed? F*ck no!

...



So what have we learnt about Lubbert?

Fock all really eh?

7 comments:

Fluff said...

You're not repressed, CL.

Are you...?

Lubbert Das said...

So repressed I re-edited this post!

I speak pretty freely on this blog but as I am not using a pseudonym when posting I do tend to hold back on some things...

I also don't like the fact that you can be tagged as undesirable by Google or certain readers and possibly have your blog deleted so that may factor into it as well.

Of course posting a pic of a limbless guy with an erect penis probably wouldn't help my case either.

lu said...

I love to type that particular word.

I like to say that word.

But I must say, while i enjoy using it as an interjection or a adjective, It is most satisfying empolying it as a verb.

Fluff said...

Yep...and so will I, if I ever get the chance to do so again.

CL! Matey! I wouldn't sweat small stuff like posting a rather dodgy pic of a gigantic stumpie. No...not when you've already told the world about the time you spaffed on your dad's shoe! ;P

And, now you know why I chose the most widely used tag on the whole of cyberspace for a name. I seem to be lost in a crowd. Oh dear ;)

Be safe!

Lubbert Das said...

Jeez Fluff if anyone reads that 'spaffed on my dad's shoe' without the proper context!! My God woman what are they gonna think!

Fuck me!

I mean f*ck me!

Mark said...

In my need to be inconsistent as possible, some-times I self-censor, sometimes I don't, and when I do, it's usually done in a smirking way, influenced by the poorly-timed bleeping Mark and Lard used to do on their radio show.

joe bloke said...

I was gonna post a comment, but fuck it.