Catchy header eh!?
I must receive about 5-10 of these type of spam emails a week. With this one I can imagine the writer sitting there trying to come up with a really eye-catching tag-line, knowing that the usual type of header of 'Collect Your Reward' or 'Husband Leaves Me Fortune To Share' just wasn't pulling in the punters anymore.... it just reeks of desperation!
Since I'm in the holiday spirit I thought I would try to help said person out with some header suggestions:
MY PENIS EXPLODED ON BUS.....FORGIVE ME!
CROCODILE RATS ATE MY BABY!!
DEVIL DWARF BURNED DOWN MY CHURCH WITH TINY LITTLE MATCHES.......BASTARD!!
I HAVE BEEN CRUCIFIED TO A CHRISTMAS TREE WITH TOOTHPICKS!! ....PLEASE HELP!!!! DID I MENTION THAT I'M ALSO HANGING UPSIDE DOWN.......
BUM-FLUFF,SHIT-COBBLE, MANK-FUCK, WARBLE-WANK!!!
MILK IN FRIDGE IS SOUR! JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!! HELP ME!!!!
OK I'm done...
Full email below - please feel free to write to Susan with a reply.
I am Mrs. Susan Amson from Netherlands, I am 68 years old, i am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my conditions is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I can't work or do any stressful thing, according to my doctors they have advised me that I may not live for the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage. I was brought up from a motherless babies home was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child.
My Husband (Roberto Patrick) died in a fatal motor accident before his death we were true Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $5.6 million dollars wishes, And the best part of it is, the paying bank in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia told me in the letter that they can have the funds released to my approved person that was authorized by me or transferred to his bank account and if outside Kuala Lumpur Malaysia then transferred to his or her bank account. Presently, i am using my laptop in the hospital at Frankfurt Germany where I have been undergoing treatment for my sickness. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only more 2 months to live. It is my last wish to see at least 60% of this money is invested/donated to any organization/business of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, e.g. the poor homes, the motherless babies home where I came from, the deaf homes, an
I seek for is a God fearing person like you ,who will carry out my last wishes and before I emailed you today I prayed and the holy spirit gave me the confidence to send you this email. I took this decision, before I rest in peace because my time will soon be up. As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the paying bank in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.
All i need from you is a confidential assurance that the funds when received by you will be used for the said purpose, Nowadays there are so much scams going on in the internet and it is difficult to trust but I don’t know why the Holy spirit still approved me to email you about this out of few email addresses i have from the internet, yours was the only one that my mind convinced me to. You can contact me on my email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Waiting for your
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Susan Amson